When Steve and I were dating in 1982, we realized that I had the more dominating personality. Knowing the scriptural mandate to the wife (“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.”), we were convinced that obedience to the Lord would ensure a successful marriage. The Bible also instructs the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it; but ladies, we can be the oil in the cogs to help the process along. If we are a scriptural wife, our husband will find us much easier to love!
How We Tried!
I thought that I would be a submissive wife by expressing all of my views on any decision to be made, and by using strong arguments and lots of pressure, convince my husband that my way was best. I thought I was a submissive wife because I allowed my husband to make the final decision. Because of this view, I can remember long, tense road trips and times when I even lay in the floor and cried like a baby! Somehow I still was deceived into believing I was a submissive wife. After all, my husband was making those final decisions! 
You can’t imagine how difficult it was for me to allow him to!
The Frustration
As you can imagine, we were genuinely frustrated! From my perspective I was trying with everything in me to do what was right. Each time I argued my point of view, I was fighting for what was right. I believed that my husband’s opinions were terribly flawed, and I could help him see the truth. I thought that God’s direction to obey God rather than men over-rode the instruction to submit. I was continually making my own decisions about what was right, which in effect negated all true submission.
Ladies, when we marry, we choose whose authority we will place ourselves under. The time for deciding whether or not he is a godly man is over. It is time to submit. I am not talking about gross sin here, I’m talking about the areas we fight for on a daily basis.
Something Was Missing.
At this point, the only thing that saved our marriage was the stubborn tenacity created by the biblical teaching that divorce is not an option. Several of our seven children made it known that they had no desire to marry. My deception was depriving me of sons-in-law, daughters-in-law and grandchildren!
Read God’s Word.
To have the Word of God is an under-valued precious gift! As I was reading the Bible an old scripture became new. The Holy Spirit taught me what I was missing! “…and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”
How would you treat the most important person in the world? How would you prepare your home, the food, the atmosphere, yourself? How would you converse with this person? What extra touches and little services would you perform for him? This is how we can reverence our husbands. In all of my attempts at submission I was missing reverence.
Reverence is the key.
Master reverence and your husband will fall in love with you.
Oh! And my children? Three are married. We have five grandchildren so far, and all four of the other children hope to marry someday.
God is Good.
3 Responses
Hi Mrs. Corbett,
I think so many times I try to help Matt because I think…wow that is going to go against God’s will. I think I am saving him from making a mistake. There have been so many instances where I have thought if I let Matt make the final decision than I am submitting. I wish submitting could be easier. In my life I have found so much peace when I surrender to Gods will in many areas of my life. I know by getting this area right the same will be true…Praise God for the grace to allow us to grow as Christians. I guess it comes down too for me is not settling for disobedience in an area of my life just because it goes against my flesh and very nature. It will be a blessing to one day get to a point where I can say I got victory over not being submissive. Thank you for the post. It was really helpful.
Amen! This is a good article. My problem early on was more of submitting because I have to instead of because I want to. It made submitting joyful and not bitter.
“So true, Elaine. Submission is a choice. I want to submit to God and He has instructed me to submit to my husband. In effect, when I submit to my husband I am submitting to God. Knowing this makes it easier to submit my will to my husband’s.