People are gifted at different things and we tend to think that what is easy for us is easy for most. I know a lady who is faithful to send encouraging cards to people. It is difficult for her to understand why everyone doesn’t send cards because she finds it to be extremely simple and effective.
One of the benefits of having a large family is that it makes hospitality so simple! You already know how to cook for a crowd- you do it every day, and in most cases you got your training one child at a time. Since it is commanded by God to practice hospitality, and I know it is not easy for some, I thought I might share some things I have learned over the years to help others find joy in obeying this command.
Romans 12:13 is in the middle of a list of instructions to Christians for practical living. It states, “Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.” This word, hospitality, has the idea of entertaining strangers. We love having missionaries and evangelists, preachers and Christian travelers in our home. We do draw lines on who we allow in our home. We protect our children from harm.
1 Peter 4:9 is in the midst of another list of instructions to Christians and simply instructs, “Use hospitality one to another without grudging.” This word hospitality carries with it the idea of being fond of guests or loving guests. In order to love guests we must realize a few things:
1. We cannot invite the whole world into our home. We must make some choices. Look around. Who could use a friend? The Bible instructs us to look out for the stranger. Who can’t repay your efforts? The Lord will repay. Who can you help to live closer to the Lord? Who will be an encouragement to your children and help them to live for the Lord? Who is so busy serving the Lord that they could use some occasional encouragement and fellowship? Who should you show honor to–your pastor, your teacher, someone who serves you in some way?
2. Grandma Corbett’s rule–keep it simple, make it fun! One of the reasons we might hate to have people in our home is simple pride. We don’t have a magazine home. We don’t get to dust every day. We haven’t gotten to clean the windows. We always see a cobweb when we get company. We notice that stained carpet when people come over.
Do what you can to clean your home in the time you have available; but honestly, you will hate to have guests instead of loving it if you allow yourself to think that everything must be perfect before you can have people in your home. Your home will never be perfect–and if it even gets close to that people may no longer be comfortable! They will not want to have you in their home because they may feel that they cannot live up to your standards of perfection.
Some have trouble keeping their home at least semi clean because they treasure too much of this world’s stuff! If you can’t keep it clean, clean it out! Do you really need all of those things that cause you such embarrassment? I love beautiful things. I love old things; but I cannot keep all of them in my home. I want to have people in my home! People are all that is truly important! Jesus Christ didn’t die for our things. He died for people!
3. Sometimes we don’t have people in our home because we don’t know how to cook. Okay, so you don’t cook. What does your family like to eat? What one thing are you good at serving? Serve that! People really aren’t taking time out of their busy schedule to experience your fine gourmet skills–they are coming for fellowship, encouragement, and love. Another idea. Have them over for games and popcorn, or a dessert–homemade or not. Ice cream! Whatever! How about a favorite Christian DVD and a store-bought snack? One of my favorite things to do with believers is sing from the hymnal. And I love to just listen to people tell stories!
4. People don’t have others in their home because they aren’t good conversationalists. They don’t know what to say! Ask questions. Let your guests talk about themselves. How did you meet your wife? What school do you go to? What do you like to do if you ever have a day off? What has the Lord been teaching you lately? What interests do have for the future? How are you serving the Lord today? How did your parents meet? What does your Dad do for a living? Before your guests arrive think of questions you could ask. Pick up a few toys and games from yard sales, thrift stores, etc., that you can pull out for young children to enjoy. Purchase some games to play with guests. Have photograph albums out that guest may look through while they wait for you to serve food, or let them help! It’s okay for your photograph albums to show the difference Christ has made in your life; but you will not want to keep photos that are evil. And people tend to feel more comfortable if they can help with simple tasks instead of sitting alone. Some of our friends always have conservative Christian music playing when we enter their home. That is a nice touch; but I don’t always think of that or have time to set it up. I could have my children do that for me if I could just think of it.
Some of our friends are very organized and have hospitality down to a science. I admire them, but don’t feel you have to live up to their seeming perfection. The important thing is to start thinking from the other person’s viewpoint. If you are expecting guests, walk into your home and look at it from the eyes of a newcomer. What do you see? Change what you can and forget it! Think: if you were your guest, what might you want right now… to know where the bathroom is? a drink of water? a snack? If you were an overnight guest what might you forget to bring with you? Do you have enough extra of that item that you could leave some handy in the bathroom or bedroom?
5. We don’t have enough chairs, beds or rooms! We have a family of seven children and have had 20-30 people in our home often. The floor is fine for eating and sleeping for kids! Our family is fine with sitting in the floor for a meal. We have eaten on many a sheet or blanket. All of my kids, ages 14-24 sleep on the floor often! When we recently moved into a smaller house in the city our boys decided they would rather have the space for their weight set than their king size bed! We allowed them to give the bed away and they are happy! Our three girls who are at home chose to keep a full size bed instead of a queen size one so they could have more space in their room. One of them is usually on the floor, and they are happy. When we have guests we give adult couples the girls room, use the couch and all of the floors! We have wonderful times with friends and awesome memories!
I wish the joy of hospitality to all of you! May some of these ideas be a help and encouragement to you as you serve the Lord through hospitality.
I would love to hear ideas from some of you!
8 Responses
I really love this entry. I enjoy Christian fellowship,….but I, at times, am worried about some of the things that were mentioned above. I get nervous that my cooking will be awful…that my house will not be clean enough…or that I will do something that is embarrassing…LOL.
The first time that I had anyone over for Christian fellowship was right before my husband and I got married. I was teaching at a military boot camp and I lived on grounds. I had roommates (girls) and made sure they didn’t mind…and then invited our Pastor, his family, and Matt over for dinner. I was all set. My cooking has gotten better, but it was not good at all then… so I didn’t try to make dessert, I bought it. I went to the store and found the perfect cake. It was in a cooler…(so I thought)…I brought it home and put it in the fridge. The day came for my first fellowship. I was nervous and excited all at the same time. Not only was I cooking dinner for my Pastor and his family…but for my soon to be husband. We had dinner and then I pulled the dessert out of the fridge. The cake had a plastic ring around the outside….which I thought was a little strange. So I took off the ring and the cake spilt all over….the cake was an ice cream cake and it was not in a cooler it was in a freezer with an open door on it. I wanted to cry!!!!!! Our pastor and his family, and soon to be HUSBAND, were so kind they said they wanted to eat it like that. So we got bowls out and we had melted ice cream cake!!!!! As a joke our Pastor at the time said that he was going to share that story when he married us…but he didn’t…(Praise the Lord.)
I also like to sing when fellowshipping with Christians. We only have done this with two Christian families, while fellowshipping in other homes…..The Corbett family being one of them.
I also like to watch Christian movies…..especially with our families that do not live like we do. It provides a way for us to fellowship on our terms.
Sorry I can not offer any new ideas……but I do have a suggestion, if you purchase and ice cream cake to serve as dessert don’t put it in the fridge before serving it…LOL!!!!
Oh, Jan! Thank you for sharing! Those are moments we can all laugh about–but sometimes not until later! We have loved being in your home when we’ve been able. You are a gracious hostess and we love the fellowship!
The first time my husband and I tried to practice hospitality was the most trying time I have ever had. I had grown up in a home that was always having people in and it was just the natural thing to do. When our local church was having a series of meetings we offered to host the evangelist and his family. We had only been married for a couple of months and were trying to eat only healthy foods. One morning I served breakfast after my husband had gone to work. I served whole wheat pancakes with butter and honey, fried eggs, and orange juice or milk. I now know I probably should have bought a coffee maker and some coffee, syrup, potato chips, cokes, ice cream, whatever. I was seated at the table with the evangelist, his wife and children. The evangelist had evidently had all the health food he could stomach, because he said to me, “Young lady, if you are going to have people in your home, serve food they like to eat!” His wife was embarrassed and called him quietly by his first name. I know I blushed and tears ran down my face. All the joy of being hostess was gone. In all of the years of having guests in our home I had never experienced such a thing, and never have since. Most people are much more gracious, but I did learn something from the dear man.
Later that night, after the evening service, he evidently went to the grocery store because they came in with bags of groceries, took them to their room and evidently ate what they liked. Looking back I am laughing about my ignorance and his. =P
Aww…Mrs. Corbett that is awful!!!!! Praise the Lord nothing like that has ever happened. I think I would have cried too!!!!!!!! Did he ever appologize???? Thank you for your kind comments!!
No, I’ve never seen him again. He was a college president. Needless to say, when my husband and I went to Bible college a year later we did not go to his. At that point I would have been too embarrassed. Today if I were to meet him I would have a good laugh with him over it! It’s no longer painful–just funny!
This is an excellent post! I shared it on Fruitiply, Digg, and Facebook!
Thank you, Steven! You are always an encouragement to me.
Hey Mrs. Lisa, these are great tips!
One of the first times we had someone over after we moved to Ohio, I didn’t make nearly enough food. After they left Waylon said, They’re probably going to get something to eat now.
It was good fellowship though. Hopefully they enjoyed their snack. Another time we invited an older couple over, and I made potato soup, rice, homemade bread, and sweet tea. I later remembered the man was a diabetic, so he wasn’t supposed to have any of that. We also had a couple over the we just couldn’t talk to. It was really awkward. lol I think we’re getting the hang of having people over now though.
Hi Amy! ‘Sounds as though you have persevered! Great job!