Steve’s parents wanted to do something special for our famiy, so they took us to see the play, In The Beginning, at Sight And Sound in Pennsylvania. While waiting to go into the auditorium a little girl became interested in our grandaughter, Addison. The little girl was precious and we allowed her to hold Addy while she told us about the little one in her family who had recently gone to Heaven. My husband and I went the short distance to meet her parents. There in the waiting area we shared blessings and heartaches, encouraged each other and cried together. So often in the last 25 or so years the Lord has connected us with others who have had the experience of losing a child. Pat, this one’s for you.
We hadn’t been married long. I was 18. I just didn’t feel well. We went to the doctor and surprise! We were expecting. We were so excited that we told our parents and siblings. We just couldn’t wait! This little one was several weeks old. But soon we had to share the disappointing news with our family that we had lost this little one. There were tears and aching hearts, but we were sure the little one was with the Lord. God helped us through.
We had a little boy in 1984. Steven is such a blessing! Then in 1986 we were expecting again. This time a little girl. We named her Sarah which means princess. We had family devotions, talked and sang with her and Steven (before she was born) and her Daddy counted to her while pushing on my tummy. He said the A, B, C’s to her and quoted scripture. We were so attached to Sarah and we were ready to have a little girl.
On the Saturday night before Mothers’ Day we lay in bed enjoying Sarah moving around in my tummy. She was more active than usual. It seemed she was doing flips. It was so much fun. On Mother’s Day I woke up and waited for Sarah to move. She was still. I tried to wake her up but she wouldn’t. I woke Steve up. I was apprehensive. After a while we decided to go to the hospital. The nurse tried to find a heartbeat. The nurse was stressed. Finally we were told that at about 7 months, our daughter was now dead.
Our doctors were to our liking–of a natural bent. They decided to allow my body to deliver the baby on its own. We were comfortable with that. But I hadn’t counted on having to answer the questions of well-meaning people when they asked when my baby was due. My answers were uncomfortable for them and for me. We went home to our parents for a visit.
While we were visiting, we received a call from our doctors. They had gotten blood test results which indicated that I had become a ”bleeder”. We would need to induce labor. We travelled the four hours back to Bedford, VA. There Sarah was stillborn. An autopsy was performed. There was no conclusive reason for this untimely death. The nurses were so kind. They sent a large flower arrangement. The funeral home gave us their services free of charge. We paid the doctors one payment and then they cancelled the bill. A couple of churches took up love offerings and paid our hospital bill.
We returned home to our parents for a funeral. Steve dug the hole in the cemetery. He seemed to need to do it. Then we held Sarah for the last time, placed her in the casket, and Steve nailed it shut. We cried.
Friends and family joined us. Steve said what he felt he should, and we buried Sarah.
Before we had children we asked the Lord not to give us any children we couldn’t raise to serve Him. We lost two. There is peace in knowing that God is Sovereign and Love. We have two in Heaven. We have seven here.
And we know that God works all things into good for those who love Him and are the called according to His purposes. What good has come? First, God has used our experience to enable us to relate to others who have lost babies. Second, we have Elisabeth. Sarah was due July 21st. We conceived Elisabeth in July. I never conceive the same month I give birth. If Sarah had lived I would not have Wes and Elisabeth, Trey or Addy. One thing I have learned in my 44 years, God can be trusted to do all things well. Not all is to my choosing or liking. But I have proven God true. What He says, He will do. He never has failed me! All praise to our Sovereign God of Love.
Pat, I’m sure you’re finding that although it’s sometimes very rough sailing, God’s grace IS sufficient. I prayed for you today.
with love, Lisa
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