Mom's Blog - He is faithful!!

In 1995 my husband and I attended Bill Gothard’s Advanced Seminar.  I do not agree with everything put out by IBLP (Two of my concerns are, a different understanding concerning Bible translations and dress standards); but the best thing in the seminar for us was an understanding we gained concerning what motivates people.  In the seminar it is called a person’s motivational spiritual gift.  Wow!  What a help it has been in understanding our children and each other!  I would recommend going to the seminar for a thorough coverage of the subject.  Things that previously aggravated me about each child became areas to help them temper; but there arose a greater appreciation for each viewpoint. 

Using Romans chapter twelve the seminar labels seven “motivational spiritual gifts”.  While all of these areas are to be worked on by all in the family, you will notice that each person leans toward some of them more heavily than others.  Each of us filled out a survey that helped us pinpoint more precisely the areas we were strongest in.  The survey works best with older children, although some tendencies are obvious very early.  My husband and youngest son would be designated as teachers.  They think critically about ideas.  They pay attention to individual words.  We were once at a United Methodist church for a funeral  or something, and the preacher used a word I never picked up on.  My husband said, “He is a theistic evolutionist.”  I said, “How do you know?  He’s not even talking about that.”  After the service my husband asked the preacher about it and he admitted that he was.  The teacher is difficult to convince.  This can be exasperating when you are trying to teach.  The teacher is good for us because they force us to really know what we are talking about.  Once when my husband’s young nephew was visiting I said I believe dinosaurs are in the Bible.  He said they weren’t.  So I showed him the passages on Leviathan and Bohemoth.  He said they weren’t in his Bible.  I got a Bible out like his and showed him the passages in it.  He still said they weren’t in his Bible.  Since his Bible was eight hours away I was unsuccessful in convincing this young teacher.    The teacher teaches thoroughly, often using word studies.  Other people may be tempted to think, What’s the big deal about this little detail; but the teacher helps us keep a wide margin between us and error, or worse, heresy.  The teacher makes us think and study.

I am called the exhorter with a strong second in ruling.  The exhorter really wants to see people grow spiritually.  We look for common ground so we can begin to share how God has helped us and how he can help you.  Faith comes relatively easy to the exhorter.  One of our problems is that we are tempted to share personal things to help someone else, yet we may unintentionally embarrass other members of our own family.  My family tries to help me with this.

Ruling is sometimes called organizing or administration.  Our second daughter, Rebekah has this gift (though also strong in ministering or serving).  She helps keep our home much cleaner and orderly than it could ever be without her.  Even as a toddler she did not want someone else’s hand resting on her car seat.  It didn’t belong there.  We had to help her temper that.    She saves the family money by teaching us to take care of things.  Our carpets and furniture last longer because of her.  As we see these tendencies in our children we can help them use them as God intended, perhaps helping the child overcome wrong uses of their gift:  for instance my bent toward bossiness as a big sister in my attempts to organize.

Our eldest son, Steven, sees things as right or wrong, black or white.  He is designated the prophet.  We have often asked him if an article of clothing was loose enough to be modest.  For years now he has avoided sugar.  He decides something is best and stays with it.  He thoroughly considers words and music before using it in a worship service or in private, and is willing to endure criticism and misunderstanding to do what he believes is right.  The prophet can be offensive; but thankfully Steven has learned to temper this.

Our eldest daughter, Elisabeth is the mercy.  She is compassionate.  People often tell her their troubles because she is a sympathetic listener.  As a child she did not require stiff punishments.  She was so sorry she had not pleased us that she would cry over a simple look of displeasure.  The mercy benefits from the help of a prophet.  The mercy might overlook sin.  The mercy could unknowingly draw unwanted attention through clothing or sympathy.

Daniel is our giver.  The giver sees a need and meets it, often anonymously.  They are frugal and are gifted in finding ways to make money and invest wisely.  Daniel  often will wear worn out clothing to save for something more important.  They like to give gifts of quality.

Hannah’s first motivation seems to be mercy; but strangely, she also has many of the qualities of the prophet, seeing things as right or wrong, and being willing to endure for her beliefs.

Rachel is our minister, or as we call her, our server.  She gives of herself to help others achieve.  She notices likes and needs.  She comforts.  She is an excellent family nurse.  She often makes our bread (a time consuming task).  The server before tempering his gift will often do things for you that you didn’t want done, or in a way you would not have preferred.  If you don’t realize it’s his gift you might punish him and discourage him instead of helping him understand the need to see if the person wants to be helped.

When we saw all of these tendencies in our children it gave us new direction in training them.  We saw the need to work with the way God had gifted the child and not discourage the child because we were aggravated with their immature use of their gifts.  Again, for a much more thorough understanding of each of these motivational gifts, I highly recommend the Advanced Seminar.  While I do not agree with everything taught by IBLP, for this topic and many others IBLP is an excellent resource.

blessings to you and yours.  Lisa