The Effect Of The Internet On A Family

It happened again. I was soundly sleeping, and suddenly awake. Sometimes I think my heavenly Father wakes me up in the night for a talk.This usually means that I proceed to the bed of one of my children to awaken them for the same talk I just had with my Father. This time it was around 2 or 3 am. I was suddenly uncomfortable about one of my children’s internet access. I felt a caution from the Lord.

Proceeding to the child I began to share with them the dangers awaiting them online. We have a list of approved sites for our children. I have overheard on more than one occasion, adults who have visited our church giving my child internet contact information to their web sites because of a shared interest. What could be safer, right?

I don’t know these adults. Visiting a church does not necessarily make them a suitable companion for my child. Some of these adults have given no evidence of salvation. Some hold very different standards in music and dress than I believe God requires for His children. The values of some are temporal, very much of this world. Some would encourage my child into work that might keep them from the work God has planned for them. The more these people show interest in the child, the friendlier they are, the more they praise the child, the more vulnerable the child is to their opinions.

Danger number two: the internet allows access to people and ideas that are contrary to God’s Word. The following are things that have happened at our house. On one occasion a young person was impressed with a piece of music he saw played on You Tube. With a little research the child was in touch with the musician through email. I do not know this musician. Do I want my child in contact with a stranger I know nothing about?

Next, my children have their own web sites. This is a blessing, but could be a curse. They search online for things to use that pertain to the topics of their sites. People register on their sites who are interested in the topics addressed. On one occasion I noticed someone had registered on one of the sites with a username having to do with being sexy. Do I want this contact for my child?

We have had a rule in our home that required Dad or Mom to preview a movie or see it with the child. As the children have aged and are now between 15 and 25, with two being married, the rules loosen. Of course the two married are no longer under our jurisdiction, but the remaining five are. With the internet and our recent move and extended trips the rules have loosened more. While my husband and I were away our children were exposed to several movies that did not receive prior parental approval. They are simple to acquire through You Tube. No one has to buy or rent them, they are at the child’s fingertips. Over the last couple of days I have viewed two of the movies my children have seen. I had the following concerns: 1. low necklines on ladies were more the rule than the exception. I do not want my daughters to become accustomed to immodest dress as acceptable for heroines. I want my daughters to admire women of Godly character, including modesty. 2. Drinking alcohol was portrayed as the norm for “good” people. 3. The entire plot of both movies was an attempt to get one set of young people married off to set two. I have purposely discouraged the reading of “romance novels” Christian or secular because I do not want this to be the focus of life for my daughters. Romance happens and I don’t mind the truth portrayed in a biography of a godly person, but romance novels have one main aim–marrying off their heroes. Romance and marriage can be wonderful, but for that to become the main focus of our young people, and for many it is, is to sell them short on true preparation for life and marriage.

Young people have been influenced through their internet exposure to philosophies they were unprepared to refute. Knowing that their parents would disapprove of their new ideas, they kept them to themselves. The damaged lives that ensued were partially the result of unlimited internet access.

I have not mentioned “dark games”, time wasting games, the possibilities of chat rooms, and pornography. Most young people have this access in their own home, some at school, others at the home of a friend. What are your children doing on the internet?

  • http://sbcjr.com Steven Corbett

    This is such a sensitive issue, and often avoided. I’m glad you aren’t that type. :)

    So true- many kids/youth encounter things online that are quite convincing, well presented, and extremely deceptive. I have. There’s no way they want their parents to know that they are questioning certain things, or that they are struggling, so they keep it quiet.

    It’s impossible to prepare a child for every possible error or lie that they could run across, online or otherwise, so it’s essential that the foundation be solid, and that children be taught discernment. Also, the Spirit’s active presence is crucial, since it is the Holy Spirit Who will guide us into all truth. But, with all of that, it’s a wise parent who sees danger, and protects their child from it. The prudent sees evil coming (either type), and hides himself, and I think that the principle carries over into parenting as well.

    To answer your question (though it wasn’t posed to me), I think that probably 95%+ parents have no idea what their kids are doing on the internet. They think they do, and they think they know their kids….

  • Bobbie Susong

    Just a line to let you know how much I enjoy your blog. Steve emailed us this link when this site was created and we enjoy it so much and we also love Elizabeths blog. My personal pet peeve is the preteen TV shows that portray parents (if the program has parents at all) in such a way that children show no respect to any adult figure, subject matter thats way to advanced for preteens and we won’t even go into the merchandising of these shows. My grandchildren watch old Lassie shows, etc. at my house if they watch TV at all. We do use the internet to view some awesome sea creatures photos from a wonderful family we know in the Caymans. Tyson would like to see more sea turtles. Love to you from East Tennessee.

  • http://thecorbettfamily.org mom

    Hey Bobbie! It was so nice to hear from you! I passed your comment about more sea turtles on to my husband. I’m sure he’ll see what he can do! :)

  • http://thecorbettfamily.org mom

    Thank you, Steven. After reading your comment I have been spending time trying to get to know my children better. :) Thank you.

  • http://sbcjr.com Steven Corbett

    What!?? I put my name on that?? I meant to comment as “Anonymous”! :P

  • Steph

    Hi! Its lovely to see another homeschool family who feel this way about films! I cant believe how many people think we’re weird for previewing films before rest of the family watch them! I am now 21 and I tend to watch some films before my 14 year old sister watches them. We are really fussy and thats is why i find it so hard to relax and watch a film with friends, parts that I fast foward they dont understand why i dont want to watch a couple kissing or if i mute the swearing etc, it can be very difficult so its lovely to see other people who feel the same way! We’re not alone!

  • http://sbcjr.com sbcjr

    That’s encouraging to hear, Steph! Thanks for taking the time to comment- it’s so good to find like minded believers, and especially a 21-year-old!